Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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