my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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