Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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