she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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