He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize