Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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