dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
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He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
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Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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