just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize