This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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