Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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