I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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