Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize