I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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