you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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