Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.

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  (352): Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself. http://tfl.nu/hxa2
  Replies (5) Good night (1988) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??

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  (859): what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name?? http://tfl.nu/3hr6
  Replies (24) Good night (3406) Bad night (837) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.

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  (757): My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed. http://tfl.nu/rjig
  Replies (28) Good night (560) Bad night (4986)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"

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  (516): Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn" http://tfl.nu/e8ge
  Replies (19) Good night (5517) Bad night (1135)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.

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  (703): Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it. http://tfl.nu/xw76
  Replies (9) Good night (5079) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.

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  (713): She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing. http://tfl.nu/4ei8
  Replies (7) Good night (2600) Bad night (672)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?

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  (503): He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads? http://tfl.nu/30tf
  Replies (7) Good night (2628) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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  (412): dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes. http://tfl.nu/34tx
  Replies (20) Good night (751) Bad night (2265) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?

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  (708): Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning. (773): We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we? http://tfl.nu/hntu
  Replies (3) Good night (1126) Bad night (797)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.

  (415): View more from California

  No.

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  (920): Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay. (415): No. http://tfl.nu/olk0
  Replies (8) Good night (1843) Bad night (523)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell

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  (504): if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell http://tfl.nu/719j
  Replies (3) Good night (1393) Bad night (599)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  110% paid for our cab with a lap dance

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  (905): 110% paid for our cab with a lap dance http://tfl.nu/ywar
  Replies (8) Good night (1389) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"

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  (727): I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe" http://tfl.nu/2m07
  Replies (7) Good night (1325) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

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  (907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (155) Order T-Shirt
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake

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  (227): Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake http://tfl.nu/ij8f
  Replies (7) Good night (214) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt

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