he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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