I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize