The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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