Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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