went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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