Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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