You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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