i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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