Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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