I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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