apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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