she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize