Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize