1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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