I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Randomize