I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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