i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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