I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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