Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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