I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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