She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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