So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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