If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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