My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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