it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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