I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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