I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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