Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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