someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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