You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
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Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
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i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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