i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All I want is dick and wine.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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