I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize