If i could tip my vagina, i would.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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