The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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