YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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