the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize