Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize