Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize