I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize